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What???? And ruin my great sex life???? ~ Some interesting facts about sex, love and the related stuff ~ The average person spends x weeks of its life kissing. For every normal webpage, there are porn pages. (how can they all stay in business??) Sex is biochemiy no different from eating large quantities of chocolate. (define large quantities) A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex. (this is why women like male facial hair) Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is million sexual intercourse taking place all over the world. Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who dont. (now you know why women like them!) Males, on average, think about sex every x seconds. (thats it? I thought it was every x seconds) x % of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse, are found to have been cheating on their wives. (justice) The greatest recorded number of xxx mother had was x . (OWW!) x % of women think money makes a man sexier. (and some women think is sexy on a guy) The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were: and Flintst xxx (those perverts!) Duck comics were once banned from Finland because doesnt wear pants. The average shelf-life of a latex is about xxx years. The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means "to exercise ." (and here I thought it meant. . ."meat) Humans, bonobo monkeys, West-manchester-OH horney girls
horny girls in port Low Head and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (did anyone ask them?) Some lions mate over x times a day. Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day. Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal. (gives whole new meaning to the term, gay- ) When swans go on a date, they'll put their heads together. Then they stick together for life. Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. Its ed parthenogenesis. (unfortunately, not after they are in your freezer for Thanksgiving) Snakes have xxx sex organs. A pigs orgasm lasts for x minutes. (who doesnt pigs now?) Ithyphallophobia is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis. (didnt this used to be ed frigid??) x % of most women will read this and msg me on my I/M with "SCREAM MY NAME" _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ ~ x Ways to be Offensive at a Wedding ~ *Show up with a and claim he belongs to the newlyweds. *Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of the bouquet. *Offer to show people pictures of the having sex with a dog. *Tell people that you knew the before the sex change operation. *Tell the that the only reason you can look at her is that you used to be a proctologist. *Instead of a standard gift, give the newlyweds a gift certificate for a rehab. clinic. *As you move down the receiving line, spit on each person. *Ask the 's mother to give you a hand job. *Give the some , and tell her it the taste of sperm. *Propose a toast to the 's nose job. *Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no xxx can tell who they came from. *Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations. *After the throws her garter, start people chanting, "Throw your , throw your ." *Tell everyone that the groom had to be given to keep him from backing out. *Tell the rabbi that there's no money to pay him, and ask if he'll settle for stupping the . *Assure the 's mother that the groom is hung like a . *Return a which the left in your car. *If there's a hunchback at a wedding tell him that he has to wear xxx yarmukle on his head and another on his hump. *When the is coming down the aisle, push the organist out of the way and start playing, "The Lady is a Tramp." _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ~ Snappy Comebacks to Why aren't you married yet? ~ You haven't asked yet. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. What? And spoil my great sex life? Nobody would believe me in white. Because I just love hearing this question. Just lucky, I guess. It gives my mother something to live for. My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America. Do you know how hard it is to get xxx tickets to Miss Saigon? I'm waiting until I get to be your age. It didn't seem worth a test. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating. My board doesn't allow spouses. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund. They just opened a great singles bar on my block. I wouldn't want my parents to drop from sheer happiness. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads? We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it. I don't want to have to support another person on my . Why aren't you thin? I'm married to myPlacerville massage friend no sex career, Orton are dating sites mature although recently we have been considering a trial separation. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a would be redundant. ~ ~ Waukegan IL sex dating